Master-bation Meditation (Mastering the Art of Masturbation)
“Masturbation is a sin!”
This was one of the taboo subjects when I was growing up in church. Yet masturbation is not a taught behaviour, it’s something that we do naturally. Both men and women can experience extreme pleasure from masturbation, with or without a partner. So the question I ask is: “Is ‘pleasuring yourself’ wrong?”
When I reached puberty, I discovered my clitoris without the help of any outside influences. Nobody pointed it out to me. All by myself, I found immense pleasure between my legs.
Yet how many men and women would freely admit to pleasuring themselves?
In Year One of my Self-help novel ‘Journey of a Sister’ the main character Suzanne is seen lying on the sofa masturbating while imagining she is being penetrated by her imaginary lover. I remember getting palpitations when I first saw it in print, knowing that people would automatically assume I was writing from experience. Yet so many women have told me that it’s as if I am writing her story!
When a man talks about ‘jacking himself off’ it’s seen as ‘normal’, whereas when a woman talks about pleasuring herself it is frowned upon. However, it was recently brought to my attention that a man is ‘draining his life force’ every time he ejaculates, whereas a woman can orgasm as often as she likes (being receptive). Ejaculation is usually accompanied by orgasm, however a man should learn how to orgasm without ejaculating (For more information about this, watch Dr Wayne Chandler’s video ‘Sexual Energy Pt. 3’ at the end of this post).
Unlike the penis, which is also used for urination, the clitoris has no other function than for sexual arousal and pleasure.
Should the woman rely on the man to stimulate it, or is it for her own pleasure?
The clitoris and its function:
Wikipedia: ‘In women, the clitoris is the woman’s most sensitive erogenous zone and the primary source of female pleasure. The visible button-like portion is near the front junction of the labia minora (inner lips), above the opening of the urethra. Unlike the penis (the male equivalent to the clitoris), it is not used for urination. The clitoris develops from an outgrowth in the embryo called the genital tubercle, which develops into either a penis or a clitoris, depending on the presence or absence of the protein tdf, which is codified by a single gene on the Y chromosome. The clitoris is a complex structure, and its size and sensitivity can vary. The glans (head) is roughly the size and shape of a pea, and is estimated to have more sensory nerve endings than any other part of the body.
Extensive studies have been done on the clitoris, primarily concerning anatomical accuracy, orgasmic factors and their physical explanation of the G-Spot. Social perceptions of the clitoris range from the significance of its role in female sexual pleasure, assumptions about its true size and depth, and varying beliefs regarding genital modification, e.g. clitoris enlargement, piercing and removal for cultural reasons’.
It is (in my opinion) unfortunate that in some African cultures, the clitoris and lips of the vagina are removed, causing the woman to ineffectively be able to feel during intercourse, or to be able to pleasure herself. This cuts her off from her own sexuality; cutting away a woman’s clitoris has the same effect as castrating an animal; it takes away her sexual prowess, and makes her docile.
What is the purpose of masturbation, and how does it affect the individual that does it?
Master-bation Meditation by Paradise Free Jahlove:
“Master-bating can be quite a spiritual thing! Oftentimes our prayers and affirmations lack passion and energy or even life, but to dream and imagine and affirm while master-bating is a blast! It feels great, it brings a smile to your face and down through your heart to your soul. It lubricates your joints, eases tension, relaxes the muscles, soothes aches, releases endorphins, adds luster to your skin, sexiness to your aura and sends music throughout your whole body and being! Master-bation Meditation makes you feel whole and complete. So can you imagine how Master-bation Meditation might get a-dick-tive? But more than that, it will heal you, thrill you, empower you and give you a strong desire to share your lovely self with someone else! Too sexy for your own body!” ~ Paradise Free Jahlove (FB Group: Paradise’s Poetry & Sex Talk)
Masturbation is Self Love; no one can do it better than you!
Mastering the Art of Masturbation for women is bountiful; a woman can experience multiple orgasms, and unlike men it doesn’t drain them, it empowers them!
“During orgasm lovers often appear as if possessed by spirits, shuddering and quivering, groaning and crying out, momentarily blind and deaf to all that surrounds them. Scientists point to a strong neurological connection between sexuality, particularly female sexuality, and going into a trance. A powerful electrical connection across women’s brain hemispheres contributes to their heightened ability to experience ecstasy. The sheer number and the density of neurons in women’s brains are significantly greater in than in men. Moreover, neurons course between the left and right sides of the brain within the corpus callosum, a connective passageway that is larger in women that in men. Another neural pathway linking the two hemispheres-known as the anterior commissure-is notably larger and denser in women than in men. And a third band of fibers connecting the thalami of the two sides of the brain-the massa intermedia-is present more often in females than in males. Since women feel orgasms so intensely that they enter an altered state of consciousness, And it is this ability that leads to women’s extraordinary skills in shamanic practice. Indeed, the word for orgasm is the same as the word for trance in a number of languages….It’s impossible to deny the physically sexual component of shamanic activity.” – Barbara Tedlock, PhD in ‘The Woman in the Shaman’s Body – Reclaiming the Feminine in Religion and Medicine’
Women, go get a mirror and place it between your legs; study your vagina (yoni). Get to know it properly, it’s your best friend! In a future article I will explain the deep significance of your yoni and womb, but for now, just take the time to get to know yourself fully.
In the past, I used to imagine this ‘phantom lover’ while masturbating, but after learning about Master-bation Meditation, I now focus on something I’d like to achieve in life, which is not just a loving relationship with a man! In Year Eight of ‘Journey of a Sister’ I mention the creative power of the Black Womban’s womb, and of her yoni juice. Women, if you read it and innerstand it, you will never look at your vagina the same way again!
Mastering the Art of Masturbation for men involves orgasm without ejaculation.
“SEX is the MASTER BAIT that is used in this society to lure people down a specific path; sex is used to sell everything because of the power that it holds. Sex is the biggest seller, but it is being used in a DESTRUCTIVE instead of an empowering, CREATIVE way. They want you to arouse it for just lustful purposes rather than heart-felt, loving creative and mutually empowering channels. It entraps a lot of people. So if you are not the master of your Self, other people will use your sexual energy against you” ~ Siayoum
Many men think nothing of pleasuring themselves while watching porn these days. Many do not know that every time they ejaculate, they are draining their life force. The reason so many men (especially Black men) end up suffering from prostate cancer is because they are ejaculating too frequently.
“Some women believe that if a man doesn’t ejaculate, something’s wrong with her. They think their purpose is to get the man to come. Their aim should be to support the brother not to go over the edge long enough to enable her to reach where she is going in her orgasmic journey” ~ Siayoum
Men, go get yo-self a bottle of baby oil; practice taking yourself to the edge, but not going over (ejaculating). This is not only good for practicing Master-bation Meditation, but is also a natural form of contraceptive. You should be able to control when and where you spill your seed.
When is the Best Time for a Man to Practice Master-bation Meditation?
“Men wake up in the morning with a hard-on, with the rising of the sun. There is a direct connection with the sun and the phallus. A man’s erection indicates his physical strength as well as his spiritual energy. The cock is related to the rising of the sun; the cock crows when the sun rises” ~ Siayoum
Based on Siayoum’s comment, I would say first thing in the morning would be the best time for a man to practice Master-bation Meditation. Men, lie in your bed (preferably alone), grab hold of that baby oil, and lubricate your shaft. There’s no need for any harsh, jerky movements as your goal is not to ‘come’. Your goal is to create the ‘feel good factor’ which is needed to get you in the right vibration as you focus on what it is you want to ‘manifest’.
In my next post ‘Cultivating Your Sexual Energy’ I will explain how it is possible to TRANSMUTE your sexual energy and use it to CREATE, instead of wasting it having sex, sex, sex!
Haven’t read my Self-help novel yet?
Read an extract from Year One FREE!
Watch this video by Dr. Wayne Chandler: Sexual Energy Pt. 3
Further reading: ‘Creating a Happy Yoni’ by Dr. A Breeze Harper, Men and Ejaculation by Tantric Therapy
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Posted on December 20, 2013, in Black Men, Black Women, Love, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Sex & Spirituality and tagged black, maturbation, meditation, men, relationships, sex, sexual, visualisation, women. Bookmark the permalink. 27 Comments.
Give thanks for your awakening of our higher self and supporting the freeing of our Ka’s
“Thanks Sis, just read it, Very informative! I couldnt possibly comment publicly though (blush blush) I’m sure many like me are probably reading and opening their minds a bit but without wanting to comment lol.., Maybe if it were a female only environment lol
you got me chuckling Sis…. Im a grown arse woman but this subject never fails to leave me speechless lol
I may have a lot more to say on your next subject relating to the transmutation of sexual energy” ~ Anonymous sis (via FB)
“Sister. ..thank you for creating the presentation on Black Sex &Spirituality. I bring to our attention the words meditation, sex, spirituality and black. These are all categories that many will have different views on..thus it will scare certain individuals from instigating comfortable conversation …and to associate the term Master bation to the mix…for some they’ll run screaming and making the sign of the Cross for protection and forgiveness. The act or sacredness of touch is a blessing. The act and sacredness of raising sexual energies for me is a Cosmic Ritual Practice that MUST BE UNDERSTOOD in order for the tainted levels of lust and the high vibration of love to be that of different bed fellows…need clarity and separate status. Masterbation must be understood also…if one is to give stimulation to self..how does one approach that practice? Lust can harm. Love can heal. Knowledge with understanding brings wisdom..we need to have a better inner-standing about the body, our chakras, our mindset, our cosmic connection and the freedom to express and explore without harming mind, body, spirit and soul”. ~ Maya (via FB)
“Very true. Double standard. Men can, but women shouldn’t but how else will you know what feels good for you (and to inform your partner) if you don’t know yourself.
Been curious since I was a teen. Always had a hand mirror, looking at myself”. ~ Saundra
Leave your comments HERE! 🙂
Comment: “Look Cezanne, I can say for me, as a preteen, teenager or even as an adult, jacking off has always been a plan (B) proposition second to the divine experience of making love to a real woman. Making love is the synergizing of two spirits into an ecstasy of oneness that is greater than the erotic sum total of the two and unequaled by any other human experience imaginable. Jacking off is jacking off; a singular inadequate substitute for the real thing. I can’t imagine glorifying masturbation over divine intimacy and the creative passion shared between two lovers”. ~ Amari (via email)
My response: Hi Amari, thanks for taking the time to respond; I appreciate that masturbation is a ‘Plan B’ for men when there is no alternative to hand (pardon the pun), but the point I’m making is, master-bation is a tool which you can use ON YOU OWN for Creative Visualisation! 😉
“Hi sis, wow what a read! There is a lot to take in though I am not sure of the meaning of Master-bation or the point you are making here by splitting the word. But I like the view point from both the male and female perspectives. The other thing I am not sure about is the reason why men wake up with a hard on, I always thought this was due to the bladder being full and pressing down on the prostate rather than the sun, though I like (the idea of) the sun’s influence better.
I also was a little unsure about the connection to prayer, and this I think will put many people off the idea and your spiritual analysis. It is not considered appropriate to fuse the carnal with the spiritual being of GOD, and you may find some resistance and backlash from the more orthodox believers.
On the whole though, I found the message very meaningful and enlightening but I would like there to be a little more eroticism to make it exciting!” ~ Carl (via email)
My response: Hi Carl, the idea of God, spirituality and sexuality being SEPERATE is what I am challenging! Ever since Europeans came along and told us that it is impossible to be spiritual and sexual at the same time, we have been cut off from our Source, our POWER! Stay tuned for more posts, ‘follow’ this blog, and if you want eroticism, read Year One of my Self-help novel ‘Single, Spiritual…AND Sexual!’ – it’s FREE! 😉
“I don’t often masturbate and couldnt tell you when last I did this for myself. I am aware of life force and sometimes practice the withholding of it but am not one to always put this into practice. It’s good to read this as it reinforces what I already know that it shouldnt be done too often. I know where the woman’s spot is on the clitoris and take great pleasure in feeling and watching her reach orgasms in this way. Its a selfless, sensuous, stimulating connection not only for the woman receiving but also for the man giving. I don’t believe what you say about men speaking openly about jacking off and women not doing so. I think men and women begin speaking more openly about how they like to be aroused as they explore each other more and begin developing a trust. Though there are some men that like speaking allowed about their masturbation, this is certainly not most men. I also agree with what was written regarding women feeling it is almost a duty to get the man to ejaculate. I think its because women love to please their man and love to see him receive maximum pleasure. Also a man does feel as though the job is left half done when he is almost at full peak and this pleasure is incomplete. I am yet to meet a woman that can fully satisfy a man during masturbation without wanting to see him receive full joy” ~ EC (via FB)
My response: Thank you for that! I was speaking generally, that it is more openly talked about a man ‘wanking’ than a woman pleasuring herself. In the confines of a loving relationship I think the couple should be able to speak openly about what they like/don’t like. When women (and men) innerstand that it is possible to ORGASM without EJACULATING they will both be satisfied 🙂
“Uahjai, this is a very beautiful and practical piece of work. I agree with all points however there is another side and benefit to Male Masturbation; for one it helps us to increase Stamina, Control, Psychic Discipline. This is what we call “cleaning the pipes” before we have intercourse with a woman because Premature ejaculations ruins the fun for everybody.
Next it helps us to relax and calm us down and think. Most of the time I can’t sleep unless I masturbate. And this is the Key because doing so before bedtime releases chemicals in the brain that help me to dream. Sometimes I dream the future, about other people, situations etc. I get alot of the answers to what I’m seeking in my life when I dream” ~ Amun (via FB)
My response: And you think it has something to do with masturbating before you go to sleep?
Amun: “Oh yes that would develop these. As I have indeed experienced the Male Orgasm or Backwards Flowing Method as it is called in Taosim”
“Very enlightening and definitely a taboo topic amongst women. And yes….men can so freely talk about masturbation where as women can’t. Thanks for sharing and well written!” ~ Natasha (via FB)
“I really enjoyed this! It gave me a different perspective on masturbation and the overall power/energy of sex” ~ Ira (via FB)
“Very good read! It’s a very good thing to delve into such a subject. I do understand the power regarding (sex) masturbation and the mind and it’s positive effects it can have on ones life when one is aware. I applaud!” (via FB)
Loved it!! The first part really!! No one told me anything either! It was like whoa!! What is THIS!!!! Seemed natural! I didn’t feel guilty or dirty! Also the part bout how the clitoris is strictly for pleasure! Didn’t think of that before!! And lastly, those guys removing clits an lips need to remove their pensis’ and balls!!!
I salute you and will you great success! ~ Meru (FB)
(Anon): “Okay, so…
I followed the instructions this evening, & I was left very horny still. Lol, but it did feel good regardless. I came close on two occasions & was ready for more. But she had climaxed already & needed rest for tomorrow. Took me a while to “calm all the way down”. Lol
Don’t know why I’m telling you all of this, but these kinds of conversations seem like they may very likely be normal to you”.
My response:”Lol, yes I do find that people find it easy to open up and talk to me on this level. Keep cultivating your sexual energy, is all I can say – that’s the topic of my post next week, by the way!”
(Anon): I’ve heard of the benefits of doing that to yourself as a man, but never really been able to apply it to sex, but tonight I was determined to. Lol, this is torture on a man
Me: Lol, think of it like going to the gym, it hurts at first, til you start to see the benefits of growing muscles, then you think “It was worth all the pain!” 😉
(Anon): Ahaha. I got you.
“This is some powerful reading, most men don’t know their body as women also..this was a very good topic and a learning experience. I’m glad I have learn how to control my body when it comes to sex and to pleasure a woman without cumming” ~ Martin (via FB)
“An interesting and intimately informative write up which is sure to free up some previously sexually repressed minds whilst filling the hearts of circumcised women like myself, heavy with what has been denied us……” 😦 ~ Phemy
My response: I may do another write up when I’ve done more research, for circumcised women, as the clitoris goes way up into the body and you can still experience orgasm but I don’t have enough info yet ❤
“Soz Was just watching the video, took longer than I thought, overall very interesting, enlightening and provided reasons for many things, its a very big subject, especially when you throw in religion, spirituality and sexuality,” ~ Roger (FB)
“This blog is amazing and takes sexual creativity to the next level. In order for male & female to reach this, both need to understand the body and the ‘art of sexual creative pleasure’. It’s not just about experiencing the lustful side of things, but being inclined with ones spirituality” Mr S Chocolate Lover (via email)
“Good info! Good blog! It’s very unfortunate that masturbation is only accepted for the pleasure of men only. And not for the sake of the woman being in tune with her sexuality and body. I started masturbating at 11 and always felt ashamed. This shame would of course follow me from 11 to the age of 32 when I got rid of all shame. Thanks for the blog sis!” ~ Fatima (via email)
“Looked at the article briefly; one key thing I like to attract people’s attention to, is that sex is no different to circuitry! Just like you put a battery in a socket, so is sex. Sex is a key constituent of power also, insomuch as the astrological function of venus (receptiveness, creativity, self-esteem, relating) and mars (projectiveness, destructiveness, personal power, affecting). The wanting your own way, versus getting it. Receiving force or applied energy, versus giving it. Dr. Malachi Z. York taught about things such as the disagreeable beings, or ‘warrior types’ worshipping the sex spirit force; and we can interpet this as being the venus/mars energy, or the yin/yang concept (to a degree anyway). Not to say worshipping it is the way, but the fact is it has power and capacity to empower – why are we taught to stay away from it, or fear it? And why do some of the same people who teach us to stay away from it, engage in it, and interact with it, more than most? Power is leverage, and leverage leads to the freedom to do for self, and as one will of one’s own choosing” ~ Shu Gureg Heti (FB)
Excellent read! I think you’ve touched on a subject we (especially as black people) all too often shy away from! I consider myself to be very open minded in this arena and feel comfortable to speak quite openly about masturbation and/or sex!!! (Although I hate that word masturbation, looooool…I prefer self pleasing)!!
I particularly liked that you touched briefly on FGM. I’m in my final year of training as a midwife and have come across women who have been subjected to such cultural practices! You put it perfectly; ‘it cuts her off from her own sexuality”. I totally agree as through my own experience of “pleasing myself” I have found a sense of liberation! I know exactly what I like and where I liked to be touched in order to reach what I think is an intense realm of pleasure and maybe even enlightenment. It’s a shame these women have been made subject to such practices and turned into mere sexual pleasing devices for their husbands. Not to mention that they will probably never reach heightened levels of pleasure which we should all rightly be entitled too!
I haven’t watched the entire clip by Dr Chandler as it’s quite long but I loved how he spoke about men having an orgasm without ejaculating because I actually didn’t know that was possible!
Its funny how as females we’re engineered into thinking that sex ends once a man has ejaculated (or wait until he’s ready for round two and by that time the mood may have past). Both yourself and Dr Chandler have given me a whole new insight.
I like the advice you give guys on practicing masturbation without ejaculating! Good tip!!
On another note, I’ve almost come to the end of your book: “How to Get the Ring on Your Finger” which was a fantastic read I must say! I thoroughly enjoyed it and found it very easy to relate too! I particularly like your view on the 6 month rule and the book has empowered me to think strategically before I act! Your book is almost like a tool box that I can go to in times of uncertainty. I’m ready for a long term committed relationship but at the same time I’m not in a rush! I want to get it right this time and feel that my journey of Self development is much more important! Your book has inspired me a great deal! Thank you!
Can wait to read Single, Spiritual and Sexual! And I look forward to your workshop in the new year.
“As am reading this, am thinking how much people just hate to talk about their sexuality. even a word such as vagina, its like a freak of nature for people to talk about it, but i say this once, and I say it again, Most people are afraid of where they come from because its called a VAGINA. lol…this is right on point though, I love it, a lot of deep stuff there… I have to say I was blown away by it. I can relate to so much there” Anthos (FB)
“Great information, I actually learned about this sort of meditation last summer but there wasn’t a title to it at all! I haven’t been practicing it as much as I should but this was a great confirmation! Maybe you should chronicle your Master-bation Meditation, id love to hear to what’s birthed from it!” ~ Prudence (FB)
“Oh wow this deep, diagram and everyting!
In school they told us to get a mirror and look down there so I got a big mirror and had a look!
(My response: Really?? Which school was THAT?!!!)
Yup! I had really good sex education (a Catholic school!)
This article has opened my mind” ~ Abena (FB)
“Interesting article i love to pleasure a woman and bring her to multiple orgasms … I don’t get much enjoyment out of self masturbation … a release is what I get, but i usually immediately feel disappointment at not having the pleasure of a woman in my arms” (FB)
“Very interesting Cezanne,
its eerily synchronized with the fact I stopped masterbating to come recently as I came to a point where I realised it was making me sad. but I haven’t reached the stage yet where I have been able to implement it during actual sex, although I might have to try it. its funny since I have mad a concerted effort not to come during master-bation. i have felt more driven, more manly” ~ DL (FB).
“I read ur Masterbation article and found it interesting…Im actually rubbing and stroking my Cock right now…the head is throbbing as a vein runs down the side pulsing…I did think it was wrong a lil lol…but Ive learned that in THINKING its wrong…Im MAKING it wrong…so I subtracted the guilty feeling from the act…I also have learned to not ejaculate all the time…altho if at times looking at a porn for example…being a man with a very vivid imagination…what I see can be what I feel if u know what I mean then uhhhhh ahh ahh ahhhhhh…smile uh uh…whoa! Lolol…do u watch porn? I find it as art at times…the erotism…the exoticism…the titilation…the stimilation…the pleasure…the desire…the dominance by either male or female for I can allow control by a lover as well as control in a very beautiful way…sex can be incredible when the atmosphere is perfect and respect is in play with a bottle of wine…so cheers to u for your article which I found comfortably interesting…hmmm…a lil precum oozed out…Im rubbing into my cockhead….feels good with control as I say whoa Don…easy…dont explode lol…cool yeahhhhh coooool!” ~ Don
My response: Lol it’s all good Don! No I don’t watch porn although I used to, but it all got a bit boring in the end, there was no heart-felt LOVE in it, and sometimes the women didn’t even seem to be enjoying themselves, just pretending to be! I have a great imagination too, so I have no need for porn! 😉